The Incredible Hack

I hate to bring you bad news, like the episode of Murphy Brown when Miles had to tell Corky that he had let her cat get run over and just couldn't find the way to do it until the very end of the episode and Murphy accidentally let the cat out of the bag (not the dead one)(the hypothetical cat that represents the news)(although it really would have made the episode more interesting if she had let a real, dead cat out of a bag . . .). That's how I hate to bring bad news. But I have to report that once more a dumb and pointless metaphor has been seen rearing its ugly, Cardassian-from-Star-Trek-like head in the Daily Universe.

I addressed some other bad metaphors in a previous note (one with the title recently altered to be "Metaphorically Stinking"). These were employed by a pair of DU writers who were talking about the pros and cons of football. Coincidentally the (anonymously written) editorial also discusses football, with the bad metaphor sticking out like a sore cold sore.

In describing the well-deserved and hard fought 33-31 victory of BYU over Utah, the author describes the Utes second and third quarter comeback:

Here it comes "Instead of conceding the victory, the Utes overcame a 14-point deficit and scored 24 unanswered points. Even as Bruce Banner sheds his fragile, mortal persona to become the Incredible Hulk, the Utes lashed out, and the Cougars suddenly found themselves trailing most of the game." (italicies added to point out the ridiculous parts)

A Incredible Hulk reference? Including his alter-ego Bruce Banner? Fragile, mortal persona? "The Utes lashed out"? That's just terrible. Big words attached to a pointless, unrelated, quite-a-stretch of a metaphor don't help it make more sense. They just make it sound more ridiculous. How about " Instead of conceding the victory, the Utes rallied to overcome a 14-point deficit and scored 24 unanswered points. The Cougars found themselves trailing most of the game."?

I imagine that hypothetically the author could've lost a bet to a friend and was forced to include the Bruce Banner/Incredible Hulk reference. If this is the case, then I have a crisp five-dollar bill for the first DU reporter/editorial writer who can slip a Murphy Brown reference into a completely unrelated article. I hope someone takes me up. I'll be waiting anxiously, just like someone who waits while sitting on pins and other sharp things that are like pins and could make waiting a difficult thing to do.